Facebook & Colonoscopies

Facebook is one of the newest social networking addiction. Since I haven't written anything in a month I decided to post a request for ideas for my latest installment. Tom, a guy I went to school with, came up with this wonderful topic. Considering I said I was blog blocked, why not colonoscopies.

Where to start. Maybe I should start at the bottom. Okay, I know, bad pun. Colonoscopy, the word alone sends shudders up many peoples spines. Which, if you have forgotten your anatomy, ends near your behind. Just the thought of a camera entering a very private area and snaking its way up is enough to cause palpitations in the strongest man.

The preparations for your big day are almost as much fun as the picture taking itself. I am told you have to drink a gallon of some really nasty, chalky stuff. Almost like the barium you used to have to drink before x-rays. This stuff is supposed to clean you out. Well, you might as well plant yourself on the toilet. Maybe set up a tv tray, laptop, books, anything else that would help you pass the time. You will be there a while. Don't even think about going more than 10 feet from the bathroom. Perhaps you have one of those nice hemorrhoid donuts to sit on.

A colonoscopy really is a useful diagnostic tool. They can see a lot. But, then they do have a camera shoved up your bum. I bet if you open your mouth the light will shine out. Since I have never had one, I don't know if it is painful. I think a lot of the problems is the anticipation of what is to come. The benefits outweigh the dangers I am told. As my brother-in-law once said, "That is an exit, not an entrance."

Colonoscopies aren't just for men anymore. Since women are now being instructed to have them for routine testing, maybe men should start having mammograms. Fairs, fair!